Friday, November 12, 2010

Please Tell Me You're Joking: Spring 2011 Runway Rundown, Part Deux

Don't worry, we'll get back to making fun of man clothes soon (as if you actually care.  Well, my cat, noted connoisseur of man-style Mr. Pickles, was starting to fret.).  But meanwhile, here's another batch of straight-up crazy from Paris fashion week.

Speaking of fashion shows and such, did I ever tell you guys I used to really wish I were a model? (DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK! that "bitch, please, have you met a mirror?" look.)  Eating disorders, shmeating disorders, it looked like the best thing ever: wearing pretty clothes and going to parties, and no more school and having to do complicated math or whatever.  Sadly I'm like 5'5" and inhale ice cream 24/7, so there was little chance of that dream coming true (Other dreams that are still intact: marrying a duke, buying Versailles, not dying ever.  Come on, IT COULD TOTALLY HAPPEN...I mean, as long as you believe in yourself...)

Jean-Charles de Castelbajac:

"Okay, guys, whose idea was it to let MIA design our army uniforms? Because whoever it was, they're fired.  The enemy isn't even shooting at us anymore because they can't stop laughing. We looked like dicks out there! And our men won't stop doing that Paper Planes thing with their guns."

Viktor & Rolf:

Okay, see this is why the whole tradition where the groom isn't allowed to see the bride's dress until the day of the wedding is really messed up.  Like what if you thought you were marrying someone perfectly normal and she shows up at the altar wearing this?  Not fair at all! It's not like you can nudge her during the ceremony and be like "Darling don't you think this might be a bit much, could you just dash home and change?"  And you'll have to look at wedding photos of her wearing that for the rest of your life.  Anyway if your fiancée does show up to your wedding in this, it's a pretty good indication you're about to  marry one hell of a crazy bitch, so you should probably do a runner.

Junya Watanabe:

I don't really know what this is. A nautical mime Rihanna? Which obviously sounds great in concept ("it's so funny when she mimes holding an umbrella"), but doesn't quite work out in practice.  What is the deal with the covered face thing anyway? Did they run out of pretty models at the last minute and this was the only solution they could come up with?

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