Friday, December 31, 2010

Let's Make 2011 the Year We Banish Ugliness

It's New Year's Day, you've just hauled yourself out of bed with a splitting headache after a night of wild debauchery (or in my world, drinking sparkling cider in a champagne glass with your teddybear and cat) and you're starting to make your New Year's ressies.  Well this year, instead of promising to become a better person/eat more healthily/stop being a drunk/learn to read, why not make a resolution that actually counts and make this the year that you improve the way you dress and get your shit together, style wise?  You can brighten the lives of everyone around you by pledging to abide by some essential man-style laws!
Take official Ugliness Is A Crime New Year's Resolution Pledge!
In the coming year I firmly resolve
1. Not to wear mandals (especially with SOCKS)
2. Not to grow any kind of gross facial hair
3. Not to wear tank tops/wife beaters/ etc. and not to display any man cleavage.
4.  Not to wear hats that make me look like a tool.
5. Not to wear whatever I find on the floor in the morning.
6. To do my best not to hurt people's eyes.

 And don't think that if you're a girl there's nothing you can do to help.  You can pledge not to date guys with stupid beards or to withhold sexual favors if your boyfriend tries to wear mandals.  Or just call random people out when they're wearing stupid shit. 
Together, we can all make 2011 a great year for man style.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Man Fashion Crime of the Month: Seriously, W magazine?

Really?  You really thought this was in any way a good idea? 

Good God, this is as ugly as homemade sin.  This gentleman is apparently named Garrett Hedlund (his name sounds like a viking who models for Abercrombie in between pillagings) and as the headline informs me, he's "the new heartthrob (and he can act)" (But can he think? Because he kind of looks lobotomized.).   I'm honestly trying to figure out the thought process here.  "Okay, guys, we need to come up with an outfit that says "heartthrob."  OMG I got it! Animal print lady pants!"    I mean, come on, those are the pants an ageing prostitute would wear with red patent leather heels and too much lipliner when she wants to look like a "serious businesswoman" for a court appearance or something.  And then to top it all off they paired it with a grubby v-neck that looks like it came from a Hanes 3-pack. Also, if you have to do the animal print thing, at least have him make a snarly face and do hand claws.  Missed opportunity!