3rd ComMANdment: Thou shalt not go shorter than short sleeves

It distresses me that this blog is less a celebration of beautiful clothes and adventurous style, and more me yelling at people for doing stupid shit.  I don't want it to have to be this way.  It's not like i enjoy, um,  sipping the haterade or whatever (that's a lie anyway. The only thing I sip is gin!  Because I have a drinking problem!).  At the same time though, I feel like I have to intervene, because 1) I am kind, and I want to save people from themselves, and 2) I like to be able to walk around without having my eyes raped.

So.  Men in tank-tops.  Mank-tops.  I've been noticing a sickening epidemic of them lately, and I have to ask: What the fuck do you think you're doing?

 As both a citizen of this country, and a human being with eyes, I am offended.

2nd ComMANdment: Thou shalt only wear pants (and shorts)

Over in the Hague, they've just put away a couple of Serbian war criminals, and now they're putting the man-skirt on trial for crimes against humanity.

I really didn't want to have to make this a comMANdment.  I thought it was obvious.  But APPARENTLY it is not obvious enough to some people.

Warning: the following contains graphic ugliness and may not be appropriate for all viewers.

1st ComMANdment: Thou Shalt Not Wear Mandals

Mandals. The word is basically synonymous with “dealbreaker.” Seriously, what this really comes down to is that man-feet are flat-out gross. No one wants to be forced to look at them. So just COVER THAT SHIT UP, OKAY?

Unfortunately, a lot of guys seem to be under the impression that mandals are a perfectly acceptable style choice. Event the world of high fashion sometimes falls prey to this delusion:

(Givenchy Menswear Fall 2010)

DO YOU SEE HOW BAD THIS LOOKS? (This is especially awful because these mandals look like the orthopedic shoes your aunt wears to help with her bad back.)
Now, I know that some guys argue that it’s impossible not to wear mandals in the summer, especially if it’s hot and you’re wearing shorts. I say, why not substitute boat shoes instead? They look great with shorts and they’re adorably preppy (very “I summer at Cape Cod, this is my sailboat, would you like a cocktail”…wait, where was I?).